How I turned struggling over my kids’ homework into an opportunity

«Die Zeit vergeht wie im Flug» is the German translation of «time flies», which originated...Ah, sorry. Here I am, slipping back into the know-it-all role I’ve been bumbling my way through over the last couple of years. You see, whenever your kids go back to school, they bring home new questions.

It all starts with pretty harmless stuff. The ABCs and times tables provide a welcome change from being bombarded with the word «why?» during the toddler stage – conversations that could trigger anything from a fit of laughter to a meltdown. After all that, the time for definitive answers finally comes. And it’s easy for me to give these answers. Primarily because the basics can be learned in a playful way.

Learning games

EUR11,–

Ravensburger Card game Calculate to 100

German

13

Learning games

EUR11,–

Ravensburger Card game Calculate to 100

German

13

There’s 4 x 6 = 24, «E comes after D», and eventually, two or three years later, «E» is followed by an almighty «Eeerrm». A drawn-out sound of varying lengths, usually uttered in combination with a furrowed brow. With one of my children in the fourth grade and the other in the sixth, the game’s now changed completely. And somewhere along the line, I realised I could no longer just casually help them with their schoolwork.

Hmm, how does that one go again?

Now, instead of calling out an answer as I’m passing by, I often end up pausing, bending over the table like a question mark and scratching my head, before finally pulling up a chair and sitting beside my daughter. I’ll then read about how if Lara cycles for two hours, 36 minutes at X speed, taking X number of breaks, how long will she have to wait for Tom, who arrives at 11.04 a.m., and by the way, how fast is Tom travelling?

Bonus question: how long will this keep me from hanging up the washing?

In real life, Tom would either WhatsApp Lara saying, «Google Maps says I’ll be there in 26 minutes», or simply share his location. Alas, solutions like these are no use to us here. And rightly so. Nobody would ever learn anything otherwise. Instead, we’re left to rely on pen and paper, erasers and Tipp-Ex, formulas and focus. All things that have gradually disappeared from my day-to-day life.

Which is a shame, really. Especially since they’re useful for getting to grips with questions in a methodical way. When you’re done, the whole story’s laid out on a handwritten sheet of paper – including every time you got it wrong or had to go back to the drawing board. Shavings of neon rubber litter the page in places you’ve had to stop and think.

Learning as equals

Time really does fly. Both when looking at maths problems and in general. And as it turns out, the passage of time hasn’t just wiped out non-digital tools. It’s also swept most of the mathematical knowledge I gained in sixth grade right out of my brain. Or at least swept it into a corner I’m unable to access on the spur of the moment. Increasingly often, my daughter has to watch me dig through the detritus that’s amassed in my brain over three decades in order to find that knowledge.

These days, instead of offering immediate help, I usually have to ask her to be patient. «I don’t know, I can’t do it, I’ll have to think about it first. Sorry.» After the initial frustration, this moment of truth feels quite liberating. Every day, there are fewer and fewer things I can do better than her. And that’s okay. It means we can find the answers together, on an equal footing.

I put together an equation for Tom and Lara’s imaginary problem, look over my daughter’s shoulder and, through her, relearn the art of solving calculations in writing. It’s a win-win situation. Overcoming setbacks really boosts your motivation to learn, and I definitely want to maintain that. Even though I’m supposed to be the one playing teacher and correcting mock tests.

Reading alone and together

A few days later, I make a conscious decision not to reach for my red pen. Opting for a less harsh-looking Biro instead, I get stuck into the exercise books. The subject? Reading comprehension – an area I feel much more at home in. And according to the PISA study, it’s an area where Switzerland’s and other countries’ performance is heading in the direction of this emoji’s mouth: 🤔. In other words, it’s going downhill. All the more important to instil the joy of reading in kids as early as possible.

To be honest, I’m finding it more and more difficult to really engage with text. To read each individual word instead of simply skimming the passage and jumping to the next piece of content. But as a pernickety proofreader, I can’t allow myself to get sloppy. The story in the task is about a special moment between a father and his son.

The questions underneath relate to what’s written in and between the lines, how it should be interpreted and how it could be reformulated. It’s all about the ability to recognise key words, and not fall into the first trap that presents itself. I work my way through the exercises, have doubts, make corrections and feel glad I didn’t use red pen.

It’s a good moment; I can get into the text and make my comments uninterrupted. That little bit of focus feels like a luxury in day-to-day family life, because something else usually gets in the way. A casserole’s in the oven while you’re on a Teams call, and you’re busy coordinating your kids’ schedules on other channels. One lunchtime, I see the consequences of all this come to the fore.

Are you a reader or a scanner?

I get a notification on Klapp, the app that my kids’ school uses to communicate with parents. Swimming lessons have been cancelled at short notice and the kids are being sent home early. If an early finish isn’t doable for any parents, they have to say so. After a moment of silence, my phone starts going off every minute. Sure, Kid A can go home no problem. And, as everybody finds out each time a new message hits the group chat, Kids B–L are fine to go home too.

Spot the mistake.

We’re overwhelmed with communication on all fronts, be it e-mail, WhatsApp, Signal or Klapp. And it’s not just our reading comprehension skills that are suffering as a result of it. This is the world we’re living in – a world that children have to be able to cope with. For that, they need the basics, and these take time and patience. As a dad, I’m still working on the latter. And at the same time, I’m relearning the art of learning.