South Park: Snow Day! has me slaughtering cute elf children
25/3/2024
Translation: Patrik Stainbrook
A 3D multiplayer game featuring my South Park favourites? My interest is piqued. And I’m not disappointed. Expect typically edgy South Park humour and entertaining gameplay – but only with friends.
A wild snowstorm is raging across South Park. People are freezing to death, the situation is precarious. The most important question for Eric Cartman – will school stay closed? He’s in luck, the snow brings everything to a halt. Cartman has time to make good use of the downtime with me (a newcomer) and his good old friends. Their latest battle game? Humans versus Elves.
Source: Michelle Brändle
Cartman fills me in on the backstory of the game, vehemently emphasising that «humans hate elves». He also explains how to buy weapons with the valuable currency toilet paper, how to get special cards for skills and how to destroy our enemies. But let’s start at the beginning.
I’m the newbie fighting my way up
After the opening that lays out the snowstorm situation in typical 2D South Park animation, the game switches to a 3D view. I can now create my own character. I opt for a pink-haired emo with dark circles under the eyes. Can’t forget the headphones, of course. And so I trudge innocently (for now) through the white snow, looking for Cartman, Kyle and his friends who are on the roof of the school building. The way there serves as an introduction to gameplay mechanics.
Source: Michelle Brändle
Trudging through the snow, I suddenly find a pack of toilet paper. Cartman explains off-screen that this is the game’s currency. An allusion to past Covid times? Regardless, I can buy my first weapon from Tolkien at the next corner – two small knives. And I already get a chance to prove myself with them.
In the next tutorial, only defenceless snowmen have to die – to be replaced later on by cute little elves. If I break them or objects along the way, I get toilet paper in return. All right, so that’s how I can get rich. After successfully massacring all the snowmen standing around, I continue on my way to the roof of the school building.
Source: Michelle Brändle
Collect cards for upgrades
Besides toilet paper, you can collect something else – Upgrade Cards. On the way to Cartman’s, I have my first encounter with the playing cards. I get to choose one of three cards for my South Park character, paying with a few rolls of toilet paper I collected. An easy choice – I go for Fart Escape, which I can use to damage enemies around me. You can also use it to jump over higher obstacles. Perfect.
Source: Michelle Brändle
I’m offered these Upgrade Cards again and again throughout the game. They make my weapons more powerful or equip me with additional skills. For example, I can power up my fart or drench opponents in cat urine. Ingenious, how absurd this is! There are two other special card types. I get one from a fortune teller – dark magic Upgrade Cards.
Source: Michelle Brändle
The third type is powerful Bullshit Cards. For example, I can use them to make myself invisible for a short time or summon a meteor shower. Elf children, on the other hand, turn into vampires or laser sword fighters. As these cards can significantly alter the course of the game, I can only use my Bullshit Card once per battle.
Source: Michelle Brändle
There are restrictions to my loadout. I can only equip a maximum of two weapons and two skills per battle. Cartman doesn’t want things to be unfair. Fair enough. I can keep an overview and use all the upgrades in a targeted and tactical way. It’s fun,and enemies will only get on my nerves with a Bullshit Card once per fight. However, I’d like to see a larger weapon selection. For quite a while, I have to make do with just swords and a bow as a ranged weapon.
Source: Michelle Brändle
Once I arrive on the school roof, I receive final bits of information about my mission and set off well prepared for the big battle «humans versus elves».
Multiplayer: no chance with bots
My goal is to defeat the opposing elf faction across a total of five epic battles. They’re led by the mighty Kyle and other sixth graders who appear as level bosses. There are various tasks to complete per level en route to the leaders. In chapter one, for example, I have to get a truck running and use it to break through a block of ice in order to save someone inside. Of course, the keys and gasoline are held by enemy elf children. So, into the fray!
Source: Michelle Brändle
Luckily, I don’t have to compete against the kids alone. When I start the chapter, I get three buddies to help me – either bots or real players.
I highly recommend playing with real people, bots frustrated me quite a bit. I can find the quest items and manage smaller battles against elves, but Kyle is the level’s end boss. And he’s quite a challenge. I have no chance with bots. The worst thing? After I die, I have to start the whole chapter all over again. Find all the items again, fight all the elves. All the Upgrade Cards I bought in the chapter are also gone. My second attempt at Kyle also fails. Bam, from the top for the third time.
Source: Michelle Brändle
Only with real people at my side instead of bots do I finally defeat Kyle. At this point I’ve overcome all initial frustrations and already spent two hours playing the game.
Each of the other four chapters begins at the same meeting point with Cartman. When I start a battle, I choose whether I want to fight with bots or online with friends or strangers. After first meeting, these people stay in the game with me and we can start the next chapter together. Each one lasts about an hour, so the game can be played with your besties in one or two evenings.
Verdict: fun with friends
You either hate the quirky humour of South Park and its inhabitants, or like me, you love them. Nevertheless, I initially found South Park: Snow Day! extremely frustrating because of the bots, so be sure to game online for a great time. Thanks to the relaxed intro, characters’ hilarious comments and clear upgrade options, the game is entertaining and makes me laugh. Perfect for organising a little game session with friends. Too bad it’s done so quickly.
South Park: Snow Day! will be released on 26 March for PS5, Xbox Series X/S, Switch and PC. The game was provided to me by THQ Nordic for testing purposes.
Header image: Michelle Brändle
In my world, Super Mario chases Stormtroopers with a unicorn and Harley Quinn mixes cocktails for Eddie and Peter at the beach bar. Wherever I can live out my creativity, my fingers tingle. Or maybe it's because nothing flows through my veins but chocolate, glitter and coffee.