Shame, shame – I never played these legendary games

The Pile of Shame. Most gamers have one – and hate it. A bunch of games that you bought once and only played briefly. Or never even started. The bigger the pile, the greater the pressure to finally «tidy up» and play through the games. I know the problem too. I’m constantly distracted by new releases, leaving games I’ve already bought by the wayside.

In addition to my normal Pile of Shame, I’ve got another list that stresses me out even more. A list of legendary game series that I haven’t touched for a second. Games that are ingrained in the medium itself. Titles you simply have to play. Especially if you want to call yourself a games journalist.

And yet, I’ve never touched any of the following games throughout my gaming career.

Diablo

Why have I never played the games?
To many, the Diablo games are absolute classics that helped to establish the action RPG genre and influenced many other titles. But the series never appealed to me. The gloomy older titles – Diablo (1997) and Diablo II (2000) – put me off completely back in the day. The devil enemies seem generic, the menus look ugly and the dungeons are pitch-black. I’m desperate for a light switch to brighten up the game.

Diablo III (2012) is more inviting with its colourful look, but also somehow… soulless? The damage numbers flying around are particularly off-putting – they remind me of free-to-play mobile games. The dramatic controversy surrounding an in-game Auction House, allowing you to buy and sell loot for real money, confirms my assessment.

Years later, I gave Diablo IV (2023) a wide berth. It appears to be the culmination of all previous games in the series, combining many elements from earlier instalments. In other words,not for me.

What are the chances I’ll still play the games?
I’d rather live with the shame of never having touched a Diablo game than be forced to enter a game world that doesn’t appeal to me at all.

Half-Life

Why have I never played the games?
Gordon Freeman and his crowbar are gaming icons. When the first game released for PC (1998), I was still too young for Valve’s revolutionary first-person shooter at the tender age of eight. I had also largely converted from PC gaming to consoles at this point – thanks to PlayStation.

For the next console generation, I switched to Nintendo’s Gamecube. As a result, I missed out on the re-release of Half-Life (2001) and Half-Life 2 (2004) – neither game is released for Nintendo’s purple lunchbox.

I followed the VR hit Half-Life Alyx with great interest in 2020. But again, I don’t have the necessary hardware. I have a PS4 and a PlayStation VR headset. Buying another pair VR goggles just for that game? Nah.

What are the chances I’ll still play the games?
I would like to catch up on the Half-Life games. The unique sci-fi world, the story and the shooter and puzzle gameplay really appeal to me.

In terms of VR hardware, I’m currently using the PlayStation VR2. Thanks to subsequent PC compatibility, I could now also play Half-Life Alyx with the PlayStation goggles. Or maybe I’ll start with the original games.

Silent Hill

Why have I never played the games?
I missed the beginnings of the series (1999) since I was still too young for Japanese developer Keiichiro Toyama’s psychological horror. My interest in the horror genre grew in the mid-noughties. As a Gamecube owner, I looked forward to the release of Resident Evil 4 (2005) – one of the few Nintendo exclusives explicitly aimed at an adult audience. Fourteen-year-old Domagoj thought it looked pretty darn cool.

But what fourteen-year-old Domagoj didn’t know when he inserted the Resident Evil 4 disc is how much the game would traumatise him. I can’t get to grips with the groundbreaking horror title at all. After eight hours of play, I stop. Nightmares, sweat, shaky hands. I swore never to touch a horror game again. The Silent Hill game series, which I’d always fancied, is also crossed off my wish list without a replacement.

What are the chances I’ll still play the games?
My abstinence from horror is now over. Ironically, I overcame my horror trauma by playing through last year’s Resident Evil 4 remake. I still don’t feel like playing Silent Hill, though. After part three (2003), the series unfortunately took a qualitative nosedive.

The announced remake of Silent Hill 2 also looks disappointing so far. Accordingly, I’m sceptical about the other planned games – Silent Hill Townfall and Silent Hill f.

Tomb Raider

Why have I never played the games?
I only noticed the release of the first three Tomb Raider games (1996 to 1998) in passing. I heard older kids at school raving about the game. Rumours about a cheat allowing you to play protagonist Lara Croft naked did the rounds. Oh my God! I also saw reports on TV about this grown-up game, which stands out from the sea of child-friendly titles.

As someone born in 1990, I wasn’t yet part of the main target group of horny teenagers wanting to play with the scantily clad protagonist featuring triangular breasts. In stark contrast to my editorial colleague Kevin, who had a digital crush on Lara:

With each subsequent release, the quality of the games dropped and hype around the action-adventure series gradually ebbed away. As a result, I heard less and less about Lara’s adventures.

After a long period of silence, a reboot came in 2013, touted as a major comeback for the ailing game series. I wasn’t impressed. The trailers I saw all looked quite respectable. But by then there was another game series, Uncharted, which had perfected the Tomb Raider and Indiana Jones genres. In contrast, Lara’s adventure looked to me like I’d ordered it on Wish.

What are the chances I’ll still play the games?
It’s been eight years since the last Uncharted game. I’m thirsty for new adventures with cursed treasures, breathtaking action scenes and a gameplay mix of shooting and puzzles. My temptation to try the reboot trilogy (Tomb Raider, Rise of the Tomb Raider and Shadow of the Tomb Raider) is accordingly big. I won’t touch the really old games due to their antiquated controls with potential for frustration.

Tom Clancy’s

Why have I never played the games?
Ubisoft’s Tom Clancy’s franchise now has over 40 (!) games. The best-known titles include Splinter Cell, Rainbow Six, Ghost Recon and The Division. I’ve never touched any of these games. Military and espionage shooters have never really interested me. I play Call of Duty from time to time, and that’s enough military shootouts every few months.

The Splinter Cell series has always appealed to me the most – its stealth gameplay is very different from the other shooters.

I still remember the graphical hype when secret agent Sam Fisher first appeared on the Xbox. The game looked incredibly good at launch in 2002. The lighting effects in particular, with realistic shadows, left critics and fans slack-jawed. I was also impressed by the graphics. But not enough for me to buy the game or one of its numerous sequels.

What are the chances I’ll still play the games?
Ubisoft is working on a Splinter Cell remake. As soon as that comes out, I’ll get into the series. Unless Ubisoft messes up Sam Fisher’s comeback. After all, given the disastrous performance of the Prince of Persia remake, caution is advised.

There’s also a good chance I’ll try my hand at Rainbow Six Siege in the next few months. In a public vote, the Digitec community has chosen the long-standing tactical shooter as the game for the next Digitec Playground Cup. But I have to admit, the hurdle of entering a game that’s been out for nine (!) years as a complete noob is pretty big.

Metal Gear

Why have I never played the games?
Some of my friends are absolute Kojima fanboys and kept trying to get me to play Metal Gear. To no avail.

I completely missed the old Metal Gear games on the NES. I wasn’t even born when the first part was released (1987). The 3D milestone Metal Gear Solid (1998) on the PlayStation completely passed me by. Only in retrospect do I realise how groundbreaking the title was for its time – thanks to sensational 3D graphics, cinematic cutscenes and crazy gameplay ideas, among other things. A boss that reads the game data on your memory card and «switches off» your TV to confuse you? How ingenious is that?

After missing that entry point, the hurdle to get into the series increased with every new game. The storylines are complex and interwoven. New games always end up on my wish list, but I never end up buying them. With Metal Gear Solid V, the series came to a halt in 2015 after a turbulent split between publisher Konami and Kojima. I’m… relieved. Sort of. The series is dead, I’m crossing it off my virtual to-do list.

What are the chances I’ll still play the games?
After missing out on the entire Metal Gear series, I’m determined to be there from the start with Kojima’s next project. Death Stranding (2019) was the first Kojima game I played. And suddenly I understand why my friends kept annoying me with Metal Gear. I’m no longer relieved, but sad that the series is practically dead without Kojima.

I’m determined to tackle the Metal Gear Master Collection and the upcoming remake of Snake Eater. And I now hope the series will continue somehow.

Borderlands

Why have I never played the games?
I hate Borderlands humour. Everything I’ve seen or heard about these games so far annoys me. The games are full of empty and outdated pop culture references. Dialogue is unnecessarily long, unnecessarily loud and unnecessarily vulgar. The pseudo-edgy attitude paired with pseudo-political statements makes me cringe.

It feels like the games were written by people mentally stuck somewhere in their teens. YouTuber Jareberri pie nicely sums up my problems with that humour using a few examples:

A shame, because visually, the game series did pretty well. Vibrant colours, zany character designs and an eye-catching, comic-like art style stand out from the crowd of «realistic» AAA games.

What are the chances I’ll still play the games?
I’ll never be able to get used to the series’ sense of humour. In my research on the games, I read that the first one (2009) had a much more bearable sense of humour than Borderlands 3 (2019) and the spin-offs that followed (Tiny Tina’s Wonderland, New Tales from the Borderlands). I’m still not going to play it.

My Borderlands abstinence is also confirmed by the absolutely terrible-looking movie adaptation. The trailers for the Borderlands film look like fan-made cosplay convention trailers with asinine dialogue and lame jokes. Absolutely awful. I want nothing to do with this franchise.

Kingdom Hearts

Why have I never played the games?
I like Japanese role-playing games. And I like Disney. The Kingdom Hearts game series is the ultimate combination of both of these worlds. I can’t find my way into the series. To start, I don’t have the necessary hardware (PS2) anyway. More broadly, I have absolutely no overview of the games any more.

The extremely complex story – haters would call it unnecessarily confusing – of Kingdom Hearts is told via countless mainline games, spin-offs and re-releases. The naming of individual games is a disaster – what the hell is Kingdom Hearts: 1.5 Remix? And what’s the story behind Kingdom Hearts: 2.8 Final Chapter Prologue? Or Kingdom Hearts Re:coded (HD Remastered cinematics)? Who comes up with these terrible names?

What’s more, the games are spread across countless platforms – including PS2, PS3, PSP, Gameboy Advance, DS and 3DS. Perhaps other consoles as well. I don’t know, I’ve lost track. I’d love to immerse myself in this world, but it feels like work to even find the right entry point. And it feels like too much of a commitment since there are countless massive games offering hundreds of hours of playtime.

What are the chances I’ll still play the games?
Developer studio Square Enix is currently working on Kingdom Hearts IV. Without having played all the previous games, I won’t get into part four.

Despite my love of Disney characters and JRPGs, I doubt whether I’ll ever find the time and desire to play the series.

Gears of War

Why have I never played the games?
Gears of War has influenced and inspired many games with its cover-based shootouts. Including one of my absolute favourite franchises: Uncharted. Looking back, I’m grateful to Gears of War for that.

During the original Gears of War trilogy on the Xbox 360 (2006 to 2011), however, I found the games repulsive. For me, they’re representative of a dull era of generic shooters during the Xbox 360 and PS3 generation, featuring a whole host of muscle men. A time when too many games looked too similar. Grown-up, dark, bloody. With a desaturated colour palette and a depressing, grey-brown look.

What’s more, I was still a console warrior at the time, having sworn my loyalty to the PlayStation and Nintendo camps. I would never let an Xbox 360 into my house.

What are the chances I’ll still play the games?
Now, I don’t care how and where I play. Using Xbox Game Pass, I could catch up on the entire series on my Xbox Series X. I don’t really feel like it. The games seem like relics from a time I don’t want to dive back into – even the newer games (Gears of War 4 2016 and Gears 5 2019).

Microsoft is currently working on a prequel, Gears of War: E-Day. I doubt this project will convince me to get into the series, though.

Civilization

Why have I never played the games?
I very rarely play strategy and construction games. I’ve probably spent the most time in this genre with real-time strategy game Anno 1503. In the early noughties, it was one of the few games that kept tempting me back from the console to PC. Age of Empires II also managed this from time to time.

During this time, I only experienced the turn-based world of Civilization in passing. I had little interest in it, preferring to click through Anno in real time.

Through my gaming career, I also increasingly move away from PC gaming towards comfortable times in front of the TV with PlayStation and Nintendo consoles. As a result, my interest in the strategy genre in general dwindles over time.

With Civilization VI, the series made the leap into the console world in November 2019 – and thus also back into my orbit. The trailers and gameplay look convincing. I briefly considered whether I should give the title a chance. But with top-of-the-line games like Death Stranding, Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order and Doom Eternal on the horizon, my PS4 would already be more than busy enough when the game came out. And so it remained just a brief idea.

What are the chances I’ll still play the games?
Development studio Firaxis Games is currently working on Civilization VII. If there aren’t three other GOTY contenders coming out at the same time, I can well imagine diving into the series.

Which legendary game series should I catch up on?

I want to close the gaps in my knowledge. Help me decide which game series I should catch up on!

• Diablo
  9%
• Half-Life
  26%
• Silent Hill
  2%
• Tomb Raider
  9%
• Tom Clancy's
  5%
• Metal Gear
  11%
• Borderlands
  6%
• Kingdom Hearts
  3%
• Gears of War
  2%
• Civilization
  26%

The competition has ended.